The Colony of Absolute Communism509 is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, smutty television, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.971 billion Absolute Communism509ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 71.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Absolute Communism509ian economy, worth 469 trillion Yen a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 158,000 Yen, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

Brains have been removed from lists of best brain foods, polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, no cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor, and soldiers stream their classified military operations live for millions of fans. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Absolute Communism509's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Absolute Communism509 is ranked 228,500^th in the world and 8,920^th in Balder for Safest, scoring 22.01 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.